I wonder how many folks living in the US consider themselves
members of this generation; you know the ones with aging parents who need our
help, and adult offspring who need a little, or a lot, of help, too? We’re the
ones also bitten by the recent recession and struggling to preserve our
retirement investments while managing an extended family household.
Getting deeper into my sixties, along with my wife, we found
ourselves providing a home for our son and daughter-in-law while we were also providing
non-financial support for my wife’s octogenarian parents. The younger ones were determinedly facing a
difficult economy and trying to launch careers while the older pair were experiencing
the ravages of advancing age, dementia and diabetes; plus Parkinson’s, heart
disease, and a myriad of ailments.
I never imagined we would find ourselves relying on my wife
in the breadwinner role while I managed my own part-time business, coached my
children, coordinated in-law medical appointments and transportation, and made
sure once they could no longer drive that Mom and Dad got their Tuesdays with
Terry. I gradually became “the big guy” and best friend to my Father-in-Law who
no longer remembered me as anyone else. I became the arm my Mother-in-Law
leaned on, the counselor with whom my children consulted, and some days not
much more than alternate cook and bottle washer to my lovely wife.
So many people find themselves in this position that I began
to wonder if sharing my experiences would offer some comfort to the rest of
you, just in knowing that you’re not alone, that there are difficult times
ahead, and that there are ways of coping with the stresses and challenges of
this time in your life. Hence this blog, Tuesdays with Terry, makes its
appearance. This is also an open invitation to share through your comments your
experiences with life in the sandwich generation. I don’t claim to know all of
the answers or even a small fraction of them, so don’t hesitate to share what
you’ve learned, resources you know about, and referrals to experts who have
helped you through your own unique situations.
