20130827 – A Continuing Theme

Mom and D both joined me today for a Tuesday with Terry and we had a nice time just talking about stuff. During the conversation Mom mentioned again how exciting it was, on her way to McD’s with me two weeks ago, to see the new fine arts center and administration building nearing completion on the school district’s combined middle/high school campus. Hmm, what else is new in town? It dawned on me that it might be fun on our way home to drive by some of the new scenery in the neighborhood because she hadn’t really been out of her assisted living apartment much since moving in nearly eight months ago.

Mom was quite pleased to see the newly landscaped corner, complete with pond and waterfalls which mark the main intersection entering our township from the east, and the temporarily grassed-in lot with stately old trees marking the secondary entrance off the highway, formerly occupied by a very dated brick church building, an early school building, and about five homes which had seen much better days. Not worthy of historic building designation and having outlived their original function, these buildings had been more detracting than pleasing to the folks entering our little suburb, so the township board saw fit to spruce things up a bit for visitors and residents alike.

As we drove on we described to Mom all the changes near the mall where she and Dad used to hang out with “the Group” each day; she was surprised to hear about the many new shops and restaurants and is looking forward to another “drive by” excursion with her family to appreciate the changes.

Most of us don’t like change much, and yet we find it fun to see new things happening around us. Mom’s a good case in point; it was hard to make the move to assisted living, but she still wants to know what’s changing in the community. That need to appreciate our surroundings stays with us over the years and, when we find ourselves losing our mobility and becoming house-bound, the boredom associated with our condition leaves us depressed and feeling stuck in time, living the same day over and over again. It’s hard to listen to Mom talk about her situation when we’re visiting her. It’s much more fun to hear the excitement in her voice and see the smile on her face when she gets out and experiences the change that continues in her surroundings.

The things we take for granted are the same things Mom still wants to see and experience on whatever level her health and mobility permit.  And today’s lesson on care giving and assisted living? Same as last week folks, preserve desirable routines as often as possible, and follow the lead of Winnie-the-Pooh and Christopher Robin. Go on an occasional ‘explore’ just to see what’s changing out there.

Exploring from a fresh perspective…

-Pops

PS: I spun a few more yards of yarn this week, and even got a lesson in the art of using a spinning wheel. Then a pleasant lunch stop next door to the yarn shop and voila, another fun day of grinning and spinning. Hey, could be a whole new career, you know, if this consulting thing doesn’t pan out.

20130820 – Grinning and Spinning

I have to apologize for the abbreviated (but good!) post last week; I was having too much of a good time with my Mother-In-Law, who joined me for my Tuesday morning excursion to our favorite local fast food place for breakfast and writing. It was like old times and we shared some great conversation while acknowledging warm greetings from the staff before returning Mom to the security of her assisted living apartment. When I called this morning to see if she could join me again this week my disappointment in her “no” response cast a bit of a pall over today’s routine.

You see, I need to be reminded from time to time that an important part of life in the sandwich is sharing familiar routines, even when it becomes challenging to do so. So we couldn’t stay as long, so we needed a walker, so what? We had a good time, refreshed some nice acquaintances, talked like we used to, and forgot about some of the daily struggles brought on by the ravages of age. Her inability to join me today was just another reminder that things can’t always be the same but that we always need to make opportunities to reaffirm relationships and remember the fun times.

Speaking of fun, on the way to an afternoon family gathering D and I dropped in on the Michigan Fiber Festival at the Allegan County Fairgrounds on Saturday, paid the requisite $5 fee per head, and wandered into the exhibitor barns to exercise our appreciation, for an hour or so, of the varied and wonderful arts revolving around animal fiber. D is a knitter, I would say extraordinaire but she doesn’t agree and to make her point asserts that she gets a lot of free knitting time (that means pulling it out and knitting it over again for you of the non-knitting ilk). I just tag along at these festivals, fascinated by the feel, beauty, and utility of sheared, cleaned, combed, and spun animal fiber (particularly alpaca) and the many associated activities and crafts.

As we moved through the barns who should we discover but friends Zach and Lindsay, owners of Fat Toaster Farm, showing their wares in one of the booths! Zach was seated at a double treadle spinning wheel hand spinning natural fiber from their flock of Jacob Sheep, an activity which I was unaware that Zach enjoyed and which, up until this moment, had failed to capture my interest despite having visited several fiber festivals over the past five years. After lots of questions and Zach’s demonstration of the art I found myself intrigued by the process and the satisfaction he found in pursuit of creating a high quality natural yarn.

As we continued on through the barns, stopping to say hi to acquaintances Rita and Roger Johr, owners of Circle R Alpaca Ranch who we once visited in our quest to learn more about raising alpacas, I found myself continuing to be intrigued by the idea of hand spinning yarn. Here’s a nice portable hobby, very relaxing after a hard day of work or play, and quite satisfying through the production of something both beautiful and useful; kind of like my wife’s addiction to knitting!

So, following a little additional research and some practice, last night I tackled the experience of spinning yard on a drop spindle and found myself with several yards of handspun yarn on my spindle by evening’s end. Who’d have thunk it, a business advisor and ex-auditor spending a quiet evening hand spinning yarn? Well it turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks; and that was a perfect example; and perhaps the start of a new hobby for this old dog.

So here’s this week’s lesson for all of you living life in the sandwich: hang on to the old familiar routines that keep you and your family grinning, and tackle something new occasionally, to keep you spinning! There’s a lot going on out there folks, so … engage!

Doing a little more grinning and spinning these days…

-Pops

20130813 – Life Lessons, Another Take

I was reading the blog of a pastor acquaintance of mine who recently celebrated her thirty-fifth wedding anniversary. The theme was relationships and the sometimes rocky road every relationship negotiates on occasion. I thought, “how relevant to life in the sandwich!” In her post Laurie covers a lot of territory, but I think her list of “Top Ten Learnings from 35 Years of Marriage” is spot on for any serious relationship and quite relevant to the intergenerational relationships of life in the sandwich. Her entire post is a good read (as is her entire blog), so today’s post is the link to Laurie’s, repeated for your convenience, and the source of today’s pondering. Please read and enjoy!

Learning from others…

-Pops

20130806 – Contemplating Lifestyles

I faithfully follow several bloggers who are full timers. In RV lingo, that means they live in their RVs full time and have no permanent home; i.e., no utility bills, no lot or apartment rent, no property taxes, no flooded basements, no 3000 square feet to keep clean, and no lawn to mow or driveway to shovel. Some work full time on the road, some are full time retirees, and some are work-campers and take seasonal jobs in national or state parks, or in other business establishments. They all seem to love their homes on wheels and their freedom to pack up and go whenever and wherever they want. Obviously I’m not talking about the RVers who rent a site for a whole year or six months at a time. That may be full-timing but it’s not an “on-the-road” lifestyle, which is what I consider true full-timing to be.

Some are family-oriented and travel to visit far flung relatives; others are loners with no close family left. Some like the solitude and travel with a pet or entirely alone. Some enjoy making new friends for just a little while. And some have social networks spread all around the world. All of those in the blog-o-sphere find a way to use the internet to stay connected in a big or small way; and are writers, at least enough to be willing to share their lives and adventures. Hmm, I guess I do that too.

I may not be thinking very creatively here, but it seems like life in the sandwich doesn’t lend itself to the full-timer RV lifestyle, or to any lifestyle other than the one we currently choose to maintain. Ignoring the work issue since D does not work from home, I think what keeps me from considering different lifestyles and different locations is the sense of obligation I feel about being close to D’s Mom and my Dad, just in case they need us, and to our son and his wife, to provide something of a safety net.

Personally, I’ve always enjoyed having a home base, a place the kids and grandkids can return to, and a place where I can feel as if I’m vacationing without having to go somewhere. I like that sense of place. I think my Dad does too, because he’s lived in the same house for over fifty years. Not to say that I’m not a little bit adventurous; I’ve always enjoyed camping under some canvas, cooking with fire, and exploring God’s majestic handiwork. And there’s something to be said for a pleasant summer evening with a campfire at your feet, a million stars overhead, and moon-shadows dancing across a lake.

Still, Mom is well taken care of in her assisted living apartment. Dad is quite healthy and able to maintain his own home and has my three siblings nearby if he needs anything. Our house-sharing son and daughter-in-law do well enough for themselves when we take our brief vacations. It doesn’t seem like those situations should limit our lifestyle choices and certainly not our ability to travel more.

Borrowing a thought from a Facebook “share” this morning, maybe what it comes down to is making lifestyle choices that help your family have the life they deserve but don’t force them to sacrifice for the life you want. Of course for the other members of this sandwich, this lifestyle choice thing is a two-way street; well … maybe more like a multi-lane round-about.

Enjoying roots, but contemplating wings…

-Pops