20130624 – Care Giving and Remarkable Living

Monday
I was thinking about my Dad today, and my Mother-in-Law, and then I saw this story, and this one, and understood; because, in a small way, I’ve experienced care giving with my Mom and my Father-in-Law. But I was never the caregiver to the extent that my Dad and M-I-L had to be. And I can’t hold a candle to their light. Thanks Dad, for taking care of Mom; and Mom, for taking care of Dad. Thank you both for showing me the way, even though I hope and pray the day never comes when I have to walk that path.

Tuesday
Well, it’s obvious I started this post on Monday, strongly motivated by those two news stories. Today’s a new day, but caregiving is never really out of my mind, just tucked back into the recesses of the brain for a while.

I had a nice chat with a friend during the break at Jazz at the Zoo last night. He’s writing his third book and getting ready to tackle the publishing end of the business. A retired teacher and school principal, he’s taking extra care to make sure that all three books are “just right” before he submits them. He said it wouldn’t be right for someone approaching his seventieth birthday to be submitting books to a publisher that weren’t very competently edited and representative of his best work. Writing and publishing makes a statement about who he is, not just what he does. I wonder how many people look at their work the same way as he does.

The evidence splashed across our computer and TV screens, public signs, and printed stories would suggest otherwise. The number of misspellings and grammar errors appearing in published work these days is positively depressing and highly annoying. I guess I shouldn’t let myself be troubled by the garbage that passes the editor’s eyes but it really bothers me. Hey, I’m not perfect; I wasn’t one of those “A” students in high school English class, well not always anyway. I’m sure you’ll find grammar and spelling errors on my blog but I’ll guarantee it’s not for lack of knowledge or editorial effort to make it right before publishing my posts. I will promise to not put an apostrophe before every single s at the end of a word, only where it represents possessive or a contraction, NOT A PLURAL for Heaven’s sake! That is my biggest pet peeve in contemporary writing, but there are plenty of others; just don’t get me started!

Speaking of writing, today I saw a piece by Seth Godin, “Different or Remarkable”, on creating a remarkable product. Marketers are always talking about how you differentiate your product from the competition in the marketplace, particularly when there are many similar products from which to choose. He points out that maybe it would be better to create a truly unique and remarkable product, one that earns remarks or comments from its fans rather than trying to differentiate a product that can barely be distinguished from its competitors. In the writing world that translates to books sold and read, blogs read and commented on, business ideas that catch fire, web sites that draw big crowds and I’m sure there are many other examples out there.

What about you and the things that make you unique? Do your work and your life pass that test? Do you love what you do? Is what you do becoming a part of who you are? Are you the craftsman of your life? Is what you do and how you live appreciated by those who benefit from your work and your life? Do others remark about and comment on your example in a positive way? Are you making a difference and not just differentiating yourself? Are you living your remarkable life?

Living is a challenge, making a difference is a real calling; using your God given gifts, talents and passions to make that difference is what we’re all called to do and how we’re challenged to live.

Trying my best to write remarkable insights and answer the call…
-Pops

20130618 – Hats, Fashion, and Function

I wear a hat. Winter, summer, fall, spring, I wear a hat. You can see it in my profile picture, my avatar, and in my Facebook profile. My wife can find me in the store or the mall, because I wear it. My grandkids grin, because I wear it. My kids call me Indiana Jones, because I wear it. My granddaughter likes it when I play peek-a-boo behind it. And of course she looks absolutely adorable in it when she swipes it from my head and puts it on hers, usually when I’m driving and she’s sitting behind me.

Before I hit my forties I never saw myself as a hat person. My Dad first suggested I start wearing one after he noticed he was getting sick less often once he formed the habit, particularly in the winter. He kept on suggesting it and, as my hair got thinner, the more sense it made.

Now I’m a form follows function kind of guy so when I started looking for “the hat” it had to be the right one. It had to keep the sun out of my eyes, the rain and snow off my glasses and off my neck, and keep my head warm, all while looking “right” on me. The classic baseball cap served no useful purpose other than to make a fashion statement – don’t waste my time. My search began, lasted for several years, and ended at The Nature Company store in downtown Toronto that we visited on our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. There it was, “the hat”, an almost khaki colored fedora, felt, broad brim, narrow leather band, crushable and packable, a very functional and serviceable hat. It was perfect, and I’ve worn it every cold day for the last seventeen plus years.

A few brief years later “the hat” became two hats as I realized being outdoors during the warmer months without a hat was creating serious sunburn issues up where I actually used to have hair. The fedora was way too hot for summer wear, so the search began again, for the next perfect hat. It ended in a little shop in Tubac, Arizona. There it was, perched on the rack, a Bush Hat by Barmah Hats of Australia. Called a “Foldaway Cooler”, it has a broad leather brim, flat leather top, a crushable mesh crown and a braided leather band. It has become my second perfect hat and I wear it every warm weather day for work, play and gardening, any outdoor activity including just going to and from.

I was wearing “the hat” on Fathers’ Day when my wife and I plus S and L went for a cruise on the Grand Lady riverboat, the Sunday Picnic Cruise (bring your own food; buy beverages of your choice on board). It was a really great afternoon cruising the Grand River and seeing a nesting pair of Bald Eagles and several herons gliding low over the water. It was a beautiful day and a great way to spend a couple of hours on a Sunday afternoon for just fifteen dollars per adult ticket (I promised I’d put in a good word). But I digress.

While on the cruise we had the pleasure of listening to one of my favorite jazz musicians and a local celebrity, Tom Hagen, perform. We’ve heard and seen him perform at Jazz at the Zoo the last few years and have developed a real appreciation for his music. I was planning to go introduce myself at some point during the cruise and tell him how much we enjoyed his music, but to my surprise, during the break he came over to our table and asked if he knew me from somewhere. I was briefly flustered and thought for a second and then volunteered that perhaps it was at the concerts at the Zoo. He agreed and we thought maybe it was “the hat”. S and L, and Deb also agreed and suggested that “the hat” was probably becoming my trademark. At any rate, we had a nice chat and closed out the conversation with expectations of seeing each other at the Zoo last night where he was again playing. Then he got back to business and we said a brief goodbye at cruise’s end.

Last night we attended another great Tom Hagen ensemble performance at the Zoo. Immediately after the show I headed toward the stage. He beamed as I stepped up to shake his hand and thank him for another wonderful evening. It was “the hat”. Tom said he saw me out there in the crowd of about a thousand or so, and commented that there were quite a few hats but none like mine. It was definitely “the hat”, my trademark or so it seems.

I actually like being identified by “the hat”. It’s a reminder of who I am, practical and down to earth, a bit of a loner, and a little outdoorsy in the camping sense. At the same time it helps get me out of my shell and get a little playful and adventurous. And I guess it serves as a good conversation starter with the occasional local celebrity!

So what’s the point of this post, nothing really. It just seems to me that if you’re going to wear a hat you ought not to jam a baseball cap on your head backwards and call it good. What’s the point of that? Fashion, affiliation, or being “cool” or “in” I suppose. And maybe that makes sense; maybe it’s the perfect choice for some folks. On the other hand, maybe getting a little older helps me make sense of things and question things that don’t make sense, at least to me.

Function over fashion, and a little common sense thrown in; it works for me. Now excuse me while I go look for my plaid Bermuda shorts, black socks, and dress shoes … it’s time for a walk.

-Pops

20130611 – Extra Effort, Big Dividends

Sorry folks, I’m a little slow getting this post done today!

Thinking back on the past week of life in the sandwich, it hasn’t felt much like sandwich living. The kids are taking care of themselves. Mom is adapting to living in her apartment at the manor. D is back from Tucson and a symposium put on by a software supplier. And I’ve caught up on most of my work obligations.

Actually, it was a big work week in the home office. I’m providing back office support for a consulting partner which, in this case, means building a new software tool to help in research on certain behaviors and core competencies. We anticipate this may become a full-fledged performance support package, so it has to be designed from the ground up to be converted from a stand-alone application to a commercial product. Extra time invested now makes a big difference in effort later.

Funny how extra effort early makes things easier later. Retirement (to which I’ve been giving a lot of thought lately) is a good case in point. So many young people these days forgo the opportunity to invest in their own future for the sake of spending it on today’s desires and whims. But a few extra dollars invested in a retirement plan every week pays such big dividends down the road, what with the miracle of compounding. Our parents got that message, encouraged by the great depression of the thirties and early forties. We got that message through the economic crunch of the late seventies and early eighties. I’m hoping our kids are getting that message through the recession of the last few years and the jobs crunch we seem to be continuing to experience.

We shouldn’t count on Social Security being around in its present form when the younger crowd approaches retirement age in thirty years. Unfortunately, by then it will be too late to build much of a nest egg to carry them through what will likely be a much longer post career life than we can look forward to.

So Grasshoppers, even though I haven’t been able to follow this advice to the letter over the last thirty years, here’s my best retirement planning advice. First render unto Caesar that which is his; in other words, pay your taxes. Second, if you are a believer, render unto God that which is His; ten percent of your income. If you are not a believer, do some good with your income and give ten percent of it to the charities of your choice. What goes around comes around folks. Third, commit ten percent of your earnings to your own future – your retirement; if you can do it pre-tax, great, but just do it! And fourth, commit ten percent of your earnings to the present – save it for activities and things that will make your life happier and more pleasant. Budget the rest, and if it doesn’t go far enough, look for more income opportunities.

That’s really tough advice to follow, I know. But I also know people who have followed it, and it’s always worked to their benefit. Most of the people I know who tithe have had their gifts returned many-fold. Simple mathematics tells us that investing for retirement early will result in the accumulation of major financial resources you can draw on in thirty or forty years. And saving for now keeps you free of those pesky little interest charges on your credit cards, since you can pay for those extras with your own money!

Well, that’s about all the wisdom for today, Grasshoppers. And mostly it’s just common sense. Take it from an old guy who learned from the school of hard knocks, and continues to learn, even today.

Getting smarter about getting older…

-Pops

20130604 – Road Trip!

You know how New Yorkers talk about going up to Connecticut for the weekend? Well, that’s what we did, my Sister, my Dad, and me; only it’s a bit more of a drive from West Michigan, 855 miles from my house to the hotel in Meriden CT where we stayed. Eighteen hours is a long time to spend with family in a car, and then in a hotel, and at events, and finally another sixteen hours in a car for the return trip.

We left Friday and returned Monday giving us two full days in Connecticut; four solid days of time together; and we had a blast! Dad said it was the best time he’s had in 100 years, and he’s only 85! The last long road trip he went on was in 1996 to Arizona to visit family. Since then he spent many years caring for my steadily declining Mother, and the last eight and a half years on his own. This trip he didn’t have to do any driving and could just enjoy the ride.

When I proposed this trip to our family reunion out East he jumped right on the idea as did my sister. My brothers couldn’t make the trip, but they really wanted to be there. So it was down to my Dad and his oldest and youngest offspring.

I was wondering at the start of this trip how we would survive four days with each other.  The answer was, quite nicely thank you. Sis is quite talkative and kept the conversation going during the long hours on the road. She gave Dad and me plenty of opportunity to chime in. And she spelled me with the driving chores for a few hours of the trip out. The result, we caught up on a lot of the 40 years I’ve lived apart from them. I like quiet and jealously guard my “alone” time, so I wondered if the constant chatter would get to me. A couple of times for a few minutes I would drift away from the conversation, but always found myself lured back in by a new subject, or a question by Sis designed to keep me alert and my attention on the road.

This whole trip seemed to be just one of life’s little perfect moments in time. We were totally engaged, living in the moment, allowing a little serendipity to guide us, meeting distant relatives from all over the country, and absorbing everything we could in those all too brief days. It didn’t matter what we did or where we went, we were just doing it together. A trip to a trolley museum and a trolley ride along the New England shore just because we happened to see the highway sign; a visit to the ocean beach, mentioned in a parting comment from our host and distant cousin Peter as a place he took his family in their younger days. What’s more serendipitous than that?

When I finally got home late last night I thought I’d be falling into bed. Instead I talked with S and L for half an hour, unpacked, cleaned up, and chatted with my wife out in AZ. When I finally crawled into bed about 12:30 I was humbled, energized, and excited; and tired, but pleasantly so.

I don’t know if there will ever be another road trip with my Dad quite like this one, maybe it was one of those once in a lifetime experiences but we reminisced about some great times, and made some great new memories in the process. Life doesn’t get much better!

Living in the moment…

-Pops